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Last week I was shopping for food at the local Giant when I saw this.
That’s right, Halloween candy has arrived on the store shelves and it’s not even August yet. The holiday itself isn’t going to arrive for another three months. It’s too soon for stuff like this.
UPDATE (July 23, 2023): It looks like putting Halloween stuff to sell in stores in July is actually a thing this year. This is what I found at Lowe’s a few days after I wrote this post when I was shopping there for reasons that had nothing to do with Halloween.
I still maintain that it’s too soon for this since Halloween isn’t until October and it’s still July.
As of today I’m now on the final countdown until Inktober ends on Halloween. That’s right, after today I’ll have five more days and five more drawings to work on and upload until Inktober officially ends on October 31.
As of today I’m going to devote my remaining days to doing Halloween-themed drawings. On that note I decided to not only draw a witch but I decided to draw the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz movie. I did a Google image search for inspiration where I found this publicity shot of Margaret Hamilton in full witch costume with this full shadow outline of the witch in the background. So here is my drawing based on that photograph.
Ever since I did some serious downsizing in the wake of my husband’s sudden walkout on me five years ago, I’ve been making do with limiting most of my Christmas decorations to a coffee table in my living room. I basically celebrate something I call a Tabletop Christmas. Here’s a picture of my setup that I took in 2012 but it’s still the same this year so I have no problem with reposting it.
I’ve written previous blog posts about some of my decorations that I’ve put up, which you can read about at these links below:
Ginger Cottages Incense Burner
A Small One-Piece Peruvian Nativity Set
A Small One-Piece Wooden Nativity Set
Two Hedgehog Ornaments That I Originally Purchased When I Owned Spike, My Late Pet Hedgehog
Befana the Witch Glass Ornament
Ornament Resembling a Stuffed Teddy Bear in a Traditional German Outfit
A Fused Glass Gingerbread Man That I Made in a Workshop
A Fused Glass Tree-Shaped Ornament That I Made in a Workshop
Animatronic Mickey’s Clock Shop
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Tangled Reindeer Which I Customized Myself
Steampunk Snowman Which I Customized Myself
Macy’s Christmas Ornament Featuring a Mickey Mouse Balloon and the World Trade Center
There’s only one other place where I also make a token observation to Christmas besides my living room coffee table. I have a wooden Santa Mickey Mouse puppet that hangs outside throughout the holiday season. That’s my only outdoor decoration I have and it’s one that I previously wrote about back in 2014.
And now, for the first time in this blog, here’s a selfie of me wearing a Santa Mickey hat and a red Christmas sweater posting next to my Santa Mickey puppet.
For added measure, here’s another selfie.
This morning I went to church (Christmas fell on a Sunday this year) then I went to a local Chinese restaurant where I ate lunch at its usual special-priced weekend buffet. Here is what I got in my fortune cookie: A message that said “You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier.”
Hmmmm. I’ll see about that. It would be cool if that fortune came true because I can use some happy times right about now.
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Happy New Year, everyone! I finally got around to finishing editing and uploading this video I originally shot on Halloween and I made an allusion about a few months ago in this blog. Well, here’s the video in question.
On Halloween, about an hour or so before sunset, I made a video where I burned a lock of my ex-husband’s baby hair, which was one of the many things he left behind when he walked out on me back in October, 2011. I guess I could’ve dropped it in his mailbox at his current home but I’m still dealing with sour feelings from all those months when he totally treated me like I was little more than a robot who had to obey him or else he would sue me and refused to even treat me like I was his wife. Right now I’m just not inclined to do anything nice for him unless he issues a sincere heartfelt apology for the hell that he put me through and, to be honest, I won’t be getting one from him anytime soon.
The lock of baby hair in question was one that was originally saved by my late mother-in-law after my ex-husband had his first haircut. It was one of the numerous items that we received after her death. Then he left it behind and I really didn’t want it around. I originally thought about just throwing it in the trash but then I came across this entry by Kate Evangelista about the various superstitions concerning hair. I found that if one burned the hair in a ritual, it was supposed to bring pain to the hair’s original owner. (In case you’re wondering, this ritual hair burning didn’t work for me. My ex-husband is still healthy and I haven’t heard any talk about him being sick in any way.)
So I decided to burn the hair in a ritual and film it for posterity. Drawing on my previous experience with rituals (mainly through my Unitarian Universalist congregation and through a sub-group of the Unitarian Universalist Association known as CUUPS), I did one and I burned the hair. I also filmed an intro where I mentioned how my husband abruptly ran away from home, how he cited my purchase of an American Girl doll (Julie Albright, who’s supposed to represent the 1970’s) along with some corresponding books the day before my hip surgery as the reason why he had to leave home, along with brief mentions about how he hooked up with a friend of ours with serious mental health issues and Vikki Stark’s Runaway Husbands book.
I ended not editing it until December because I got diverted by other things. It’s fitting that I waited until New Year’s Eve to upload this video since my husband left me three days after Christmas in 2011 and he e-mailed a divorce petition in a .pdf format on December 24, 2012 (Christmas Eve). Well, anyway, here it is.
By the way, I originally had music accompanying the opening and closing credits. It’s the same tune that I used for the opening and closing credits of My Visit to the Psychic. I originally composed it in GarageBand by mixing various loops. I used it in the previous video with no problem. But when I tried to upload this new video on to YouTube, first it required me to verify that I was a real person uploading this video and not a bot by typing in my cell phone number then responding to a text. Then, after I verified that I am a real person, YouTube was claiming that the music matched “third party content” (without specifying what the content in question is) and I wouldn’t be allowed to monetize this video. I also couldn’t find any links or buttons where I could appeal and say that the music came from my own work on GarageBand. So I deleted the video on YouTube, brought the original video back into iMovie, and stripped out the music. When I uploaded the new music-free video, I had no problem at all. I didn’t have to verify that I was a human being and I could monetize my creation. So I now have gaping silence in the credits where there should’ve been music.
And one more thing, since I mentioned in this post and in the video about how my husband cited my purchase of the 1970’s historical American Girl doll the day before my hip surgery as the reason why we had to get a divorce, I came across this blog entry written by the husband of a doll collector. He seems to be more tolerant of his wife’s hobbies and interests than mine ever was. (My ex was a bit on the tightwad side even though we weren’t poor or financially struggling but that’s another story.) This woman is so incredibly lucky to have a husband like hers. Believe me, I know. If only my husband had been more like that man, we would still be happily married and we probably would’ve ended up celebrating our golden 50th anniversary sometime in the distant future.
Today is not only Christmas but it’s also falls on a Throwback Thursday this year. I know I haven’t done a Throwback Thursday in a few weeks mainly because I was focused on selling things online and preparing for the holiday season in general. So, as a special treat, here is an entry focused on my own decorations that I previously highlighted in this blog.
Ever since my husband left me for that mentally ill friend of ours, I’ve done some massive downsizing of Christmas decorations. I gave away 3/4 of them to the American Rescue Workers. I even purchased a small tabletop artificial tree with lights already installed on them. I took this photo back in 2012 but this year’s setup is pretty similar.
Next up is this Hippie Merman ornament that I previously wrote about on December 21, 2010. I made a short video consisting mainly of slideshows with some music I composed by combining a bunch of loops together in GarageBand. I still have this ornament and he is currently gracing my small tabletop Christmas tree as of this writing.
Here’s a cottage-shaped decoration that also functions as an incense burner. It’s made in the U.S. by a company called Ginger Cottages.
I also currently have two very small nativity scenes underneath my small Christmas tree. One just features Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.
The other was made in Peru and it features an entire nativity scene (featuring a sheep and llama) inside of a cow-shaped structure.
I previously wrote about all three on December 17, 2012.
I have two hedgehog ornaments that I originally purchased when I still owned Spike the Hedgehog and I wrote about them on December 13, 2012. Spike has been dead for over a year but I still have these two ornaments hanging in my tree.
Topping my Christmas tree is this doll-like angel that I originally wrote about on December 11, 2012.
I’ve owned this vintage elf long before The Elf on the Shelf became this huge marketing juggernaut. I wrote about this guy and his modern counterpart on December 29, 2013.
Here are a few more ornaments that I purchased last year and I wrote about on December 24, 2013.
Here is a robot nutcracker that I purchased last year because it looked unusual and funky. I wrote about this one on December 23, 2013.
Here’s a fused glass gingerbread man ornament that I created in a workshop that was given by a friend of mine last year. I wrote about this one on December 18, 2013 and he’s hanging in my Christmas tree this year.
I have my Mickey’s Clock Shop, which I purchased years ago. It was considered to be a state-of-the-art animatronic decoration at the time (although there have been more technologically advanced Christmas decorations released since then that makes this one seem quaint by comparison). I have it up this year and it still works. Here is a video I shot for a post that I wrote on January 6, 2014.
Here’s a reindeer that I customized from a Rose Art Color Blank by doing mainly Zentagles that I first wrote about on December 14, 2011.
Here’s a steampunk snowman that I customized from a Rose Art Color Blank and I first wrote about on December 22, 2012.
Here’s a lace moose ornament that I purchased earlier this month and wrote about on December 19, 2014.
Here’s an owl ornament that’s made from a tiny gourd that I also purchased earlier this month. I wrote about this one on December 10, 2014.
Well, anyway, that’s pretty much it for past photos and videos of my Christmas decorations. The one big advantage with downsizing is that all of my Christmas decorations fit neatly into one box. There are separate boxes for the Christmas tree and Mickey’s Clock Shop but that’s no big deal compared to the old days when I used to have three boxes filled with just Christmas ornaments along with two smaller boxes for Christmas plushes and Beanie Babies. I’ve gotten rid of all of the Christmas plushes/Beanie Babies and two of the Christmas ornament boxes after my husband left. Thanks to my downsizing, I can have everything up and decorated in two or three hours and I can take them down really fast in about an hour or so. I’m really happy about that. I have people in my local area who really go overboard with the Christmas decorating (especially on their front property) so if I really want to see a lot of Christmas glitz, all I have to do is get in my car and make a few short trips.
Last Sunday my Unitarian Universalist congregation had its first ever all-ages Halloween activity where it held something called a Trunk or Treat. I had never heard of a Trunk or Treat before but I did some looking on the Internet and it sounded like a neat idea. I had plenty of small Halloween/Day of the Dead decorations (especially ones that were left over from an Ofrenda-themed photography project that I did back in 2008) so I decided to decorate my trunk for the occasion.
Here is how other people decorated their trunks.
The kids went around to the trunks where people handed out goodies and there were also games and food.
Everyone there had a great time. The one thing I noticed is that there were at least four girls present who all dressed as Elsa from the Disney movie Frozen, which I found pretty amusing. 🙂
Over the past few years I’ve visited Clark’s Elioak Farm in Ellicott City mainly because that farm has the original displays that once graced a now-defunct theme park that I adored as a young child.
The Enchanted Forest was a fairy tale-themed amusement park that was located in Ellicott City, Maryland. It was one of many such parks that were opened across the United States in the aftermath of Walt Disney’s announcement of the creation of Disneyland in California. While both the Enchanted Forest and Disneyland both had fairy tale characters, the comparisons end there. Disneyland’s ambition was to have rides and exhibits designed to appeal to all ages while The Enchanted Forest focused only on parents with small children so there were no rides or exhibits that were considered too scary for young children. The Enchanted Forest basically attracted local families who didn’t have the money necessary to travel to a Disney theme park in California or Florida.
As a result of this emphasis on targeting young children, I personally found that The Enchanted Forest was a magical wonderful place to visit as a young child. I have fond memories of going there with my family and I really loved seeing my favorite fairy tale characters rendered in real-life 3-D sculptures. I didn’t care that these statues couldn’t move or talk—just seeing them was a big enough thrill for me. What I loved the most was that there was the Gingerbread House, a place where children could hold birthday parties there. I really wanted to have my birthday party in the Gingerbread House but there was one reason why that dream never came true for me. My birthday is in December, a time when The Enchanted Forest was closed for the season. That Gingerbread House episode taught me two important life lessons: 1) You can’t always get what you want and 2) Life isn’t always fair.
Despite that disappointment I still loved The Enchanted Forest. But once I was between 9-10 years old, I began to look at that place with more mature eyes and I dismissed it as a “baby place” because there was literally nothing at the park that appealed to older children or teenagers. I completely lost interest in it and many other kids would lose interest in going there as they got older. The owners of The Enchanted Forest didn’t make any effort to attract preteens or teens at all. I guess they figured that they would wait for these older kids to reach adulthood, get married, and have children of their own and these parents would continue their childhood tradition of taking their kids to The Enchanted Forest.
Except there was competition that started in the 1970’s. Hersheypark in Pennsylvania added the kind of thrill rides that The Enchanted Forest eschewed while maintaining attractions for young children. In addition, two Virginia theme parks—King’s Dominion near Richmond and Busch Gardens near Williamsburg—opened their doors for the first time and they not only had attractions for young children but they also had thrill rides for older kids and adults. If you were a family in the 1970’s and 1980’s who had a child or two under 9 and had one child or more over 9 and you wanted to do a one-day family outing to a theme park, you were more likely to make everybody happy by choosing to go to either Pennsylvania or Virginia instead of The Enchanted Forest.
This resulted in The Enchanted Forest closing its doors for the first time in 1989. It reopened a few years later in 1994 only to have its doors close down for good once 1994 ended. Half of its land was converted into a shopping center while some of the smaller attractions were eventually ported over to the nearby Clark’s Elioak Farm.
I made a couple of videos about The Enchanted Forest a few years ago. One was a comparison between vintage photos of some of the attractions and the photos I took at Clark’s Elioak Farm.
The other was shot at The Enchanted Forest’s original location, which is now known as The Enchanted Forest Shopping Mall.
It was four years since I last visited Clark’s Elioak Farm and I decided to go back last November for a couple of reasons. One was that I had an idea for a future art project and I wanted to take some reference shots of goats. In addition, the stress from my recent divorce a few months earlier began to weigh heavily on me and I felt the urge to get away but I was too broke to take any kind of out-of-state trip with hotels and meals out. I decided to go back to Clark’s Elioak Farm because I knew it had plenty of goats and I thought I could just take an afternoon break away from my problems.
I went to that place the day before the last day the place would be opened to the public for the season. (Clark’s Elioak Farm is scheduled to open to the public again on April 1.) I brought my Canon DSLR camera intending to take pictures only of the goats but then I saw the gorgeous fall foliage all around the farm and I started to take more pictures than I intended—including the ones of the original Enchanted Forest attractions that I previously featured in my videos. (At least I have some high quality still photos of those attractions.  LOL!)
Unfortunately my five-year-old MacBook’s hard drive began to fail and I had to wait three weeks for my new MacBook to arrive, followed by the Christmas holiday season. So I wasn’t able to get around to uploading my pictures online until recently. Here are the pictures.
The front entrance to Clark’s Elioak Farm is a re-creation of the original castle entrance to The Enchanted Forest, including Rapunzel trapped in one of the towers and a lute-playing dragon.
A small scarecrow was placed in the garden outside the entrance due to the recent Halloween season.
A gingerbread man stands next to the map of Clark’s Elioak Farm.
Cinderella’s Pumpkin Coach was originally a ride at The Enchanted Forest. Since it arrived at Clark’s Elioak Farm, the mice have been converted to sit-down benches while the coach is now a stationary place where people can peer inside to see the Prince place the glass slipper on Cinderella’s foot.
This cottage display was based on the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”
This next display is of the dish and the spoon from the nursery rhyme “Hey Diddle Diddle.”
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Humpty Dumpty.”
This display is based on the end of the fairy tale “Jack and the Beanstalk” where Jack is climbing down the beanstalk with the goose who lays the golden egg with the giant in close pursuit.
Little Toot was once a boat ride that used to take people around a giant lake at The Enchanted Forest but he is now stationary. People can still board him and sit on the benches on deck.
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Rub-A-Dub-Dub.”
The next few pictures are of giant oversized sweets (a birthday cake, lollipops, and a cupcake) and mushrooms that once decorated The Enchanted Forest.
During its days in The Enchanted Forest The Easter Bunny’s Home had live rabbits living inside the giant egg and people could view them through peepholes. Nowadays the same home houses stuffed animals.
Next to the Easter Bunny’s Home is Mother Goose, which was once a ride at The Enchanted Forest but is now permanently grounded.
Robin Hood fends off a knight enemy while one of the card guards from “Alice in Wonderland” stands nearby.
This display is based on the fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty.”
This display is based on the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
This attraction has the Crooked Man sitting next to his Crooked House.
Here’s the teacher entering The Little Red Schoolhouse.
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Jack and Jill.”
This teacup and teapot were once cars in an “Alice in Wonderland”-themed train ride at The Enchanted Forest but they are now stationary places to sit.
This display is based on the fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel.”
Some of the old Enchanted Forest displays were placed on open farmland while others were placed inside of a pine maze which people had to walk through to see the attractions. (I didn’t have much trouble with getting through the maze but for those who did, the farm’s gift shop had a maze map that one could purchase.) The next two photos show the entrance to the pine maze.
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Hickory Dickory Dock.”
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Mary Mary Quite Contrary.”
Here’s a cute brown bear.
This bridge was once placed over a stream at The Enchanted Forest and it has the complete text to the nursery rhyme “Jack Be Nimble.”
Here’s Western-themed display of a teepee, horse, and wagon.
Here’s a cute white bear.
Here’s an elf-like creature.
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Little Boy Blue.”
This display is based on the fairy tale “Little Red Riding Hood.”
This display is based on the nursery rhyme “Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.”
These next few photos are also based on “Sleeping Beauty,” except this one focuses on the princess’ early years when she was hidden away from the evil fairy who would have her put to sleep. This display also brings to mind the nursery rhyme “Rock-A-Bye Baby.”
This sombrero once had a live mule underneath it when it was at The Enchanted Forest. These days it houses a fiberglass mule statue.
This display is based on the famous Aesop Fable “The Tortoise and the Hare.”
These two ducklings were once part of a ride at The Enchanted Forest. They are now stationary.
This next display is of The Merry Miller’s House.
This next attraction is a slide that I used to love going on as a child. The slide is based on the nursery rhyme “The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.”
The next few statues are of the dwarfs from the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
This next display is based on the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs.
The next display is of Willie the Whale and the fisherman he swallowed whole.
While The Enchanted Forest in its heyday had a few rides that were suitable for young children, Clark’s Elioak Farm has only one ride—a tractor ride that provides a tour of the entire farm. I didn’t go on that one because, as you can see in the photo below, it was a very popular ride.
Since I arrived at Clark’s Elioak Farm on a lovely autumn day, I took a lot of landscape and fall foliage photos.
Clark’s Elioak Farm has a petting area where visitors can pet a variety of farm animals like goats, cows, pigs, chickens, a turkey, a horse, a pony, and even an emu. Even though I came to the farm to take reference shots of goats for a potential future art project, I ended up taking pictures of other types of animals as well mainly because I couldn’t resist.
After spending the day at Clark’s Elioak Farm, I returned home a little bit more relaxed than I was before.
When I was still married, my husband and I used to visit his sister who lives in the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania. Some years the there of us would visit the Christkindlmarkt that was held in the town of Bethlehem. That one was awesome. It had a giant tent and it included crafts by artisans both local and imported from Germany, Russia, and other Central European nations. The one thing I miss during the holiday time was not being able to go to it due to the separation and divorce. I know I could travel there on my own but right now my finances are a bit too tight for me to make the three-and-a-half hour trip, rent a hotel there for the night, then make the return trip home.
There was a Christkindlmarkt that was held at the Heurich House Museum in Washington, DC but that one turned out to be a total bust for me, which I wrote about earlier. But then I unexpectedly hit pay dirt the night I went to that Christmas party at the German-American Heritage Museum when, during my time there, I picked up a brochure about something in Baltimore and the museum was one of the sponsors. It’s called Christmas Village in Baltimore and it’s a German-style Christmas market.
So I visited it and I can say that I finally found something that comes closest to the Christkindlmarkt in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Like that other event, Christmas Village in Baltimore has a giant heated tent and it includes arts and crafts from both local artisans as well as artisans in other countries. The day I went there the temperature was unseasonably warm (it was in the low 70’s, which is usually more appropriate for places like Florida and Arizona than for the Baltimore-Washington, DC area). It was so warm that I had a chance to unearth this Christmas t-shirt that I bought for $5 at a local Five Below store years ago.
It’s a cute Betty Boop t-shirt. I haven’t worn it in years mainly because the t-shirt is a bit on the thin side and it can be too cold to wear if the temperature drops to a certain level. So I basically wore that shirt with no jacket to Baltimore.
The Christmas Village itself is big. There is a line of outdoor vendors along with a giant tent where even more vendors are located. I took a panoramic shot with my Droid Ultra to give you an idea of how big it is.
There was a variety of live entertainment (both indoors and outdoors) plus a variety of crafts that one can buy. The best part of all is that Baltimore is a closer drive to my home than Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Needless to say, I took a bunch of pictures with my smartphone.
I bought a few things for myself. One is a handblown glass Christmas ornament that was made in Switzerland. It depicts the witch Befana, who delivers gifts to Children in Italy instead of Santa Claus. It’s really cool to have a flying witch hanging on my small Christmas tree.
The  next one is a cute teddy bear wearing a traditional German dress. Despite that bear’s look, I was amazed when I came home and found a tag that said “Made in China.”
The next picture is an ornament that was also made in China. It’s a glass snowman perched on a bell that rings when you shake it. I once had two small bells that had belonged to my husband’s Hungarian grandparents and they were supposedly made in Europe. I remember one of the bells was shaped like Santa Claus. The other bell had “Merry Christmas” written on it. (My husband said that the bells were made in Hungary yet one of the bells had “Merry Christmas” written in English. Hmmmm.) I loved those bells and, of course, my husband took them in the course of dividing up the Christmas decorations. So I now have a pretty new bell in my Christmas tree.
The last one was a wooden flute with a tiny Kokopelli god painted on it that was sold in one of the outdoor stands by a man who was selling South American-imported crafts. This flute was made by one of the native tribes in Peru. I think it would look pretty cool displayed on the coffee table in the living room.
For the past year I’ve been going to the Dr. Sketchy events in Baltimore even though I live closer to Washington, DC because the DC Dr. Sketchy’s events were held at the Soundry in Vienna, Virginia and they seemed to be held on a very irregular basis. I kept on checking the Soundry website in the hopes of being able to check out the DC Dr. Sketchy’s event only to find that the last such session was held in April, 2011.
I recently learned via Facebook that the dormant Dr. Sketchy’s DC branch was not only being revived but it was also being moved from the Soundry to The Red Palace, which is located in Washington, DC. Since the new location is even closer to my home, I decided to check it out.
The venue itself was smaller than The Wind Up Space in Baltimore (where the Baltimore Dr. Sketchy’s sessions are held) but I had no difficulty finding a seat. What was cool was that, as part of the event, DC Crunkcakes set up a table selling booze-filled cupcakes. I tried one of them and they were totally delicious and decadent!
The model for this session was Eyrie Twylight from Black Tassel Boolesque. Since Halloween was coming soon, she posed in a variety of Halloween-themed outfits.
One of the contests I entered was one where we had to somehow incorporate Yoda in the drawing. I did my best but I didn’t make it among the finalists.
The other contest I entered during that session was one where we had to somehow incorporate a zombie. During that session, Eyrie was clutching a stuffed Cthulhu with one foot on a giant skull that was near a bucket marked "TIPS" (for the model tips). I turned Eyrie into a zombie eating Cthulhu’s brain and I converted the tips bucket into one for brains. My drawing was selected to be among the finalists but I didn’t win anything. But it was cool to be among the finalists during my first time at the DC Dr. Sketchy’s branch.
In a way it seems appropriate that the five-month anniversary of my husband walking out on me without letting me know ahead of time that he wanted out fell on Memorial Day this month because I feel like the husband I once knew is gone and this new cold unlikeable personality has come up in his place. For the past five months he has gone to great lengths to avoid me while periodically sending me texts and e-mails outlining this schedule that he has for this separation that I’m expected to follow despite the fact he has never asked for my input on this. His messages have taken on the tone that’s more appropriate for employer and employee than for husband and wife.
I finally got fed up. I finally sent my husband a text and an e-mail telling him not to contact me until he learns to communicate with me like we are husband and wife and not employer and employee. I also told him that I wasn’t going to speak to him as long as he continued to avoid me while sending me e-mails and text messages ordering me around.
If I wanted to experience being a female taking orders via modern electronic communications from an unseen man, I would watch reruns of Charlie’s Angels.
I feel totally sad and relieved that I did this. I’m relieved that I’m finally developing enough guts to stand up for myself and draw the proverbial line in the sand. I’m sad that I had to do this because my husband originally started out as a good friend then became a very loving, kind, empathetic, and sweet boyfriend/fiancee/husband and he has now turned into this very cold unfriendly person that I don’t even recognize any more.
For the past month I have been talking to a variety of people regarding my husband. Some are professionals and others aren’t professionals but they have been in situations similar to mine. Some I’ve met in real life while others I’ve only communicated via e-mail. I’ve gotten all kinds of advice that I’m currently sifting through. I can’t go into details here but I now know that I have all kinds of options that I could use if I have to, especially if my husband’s behavior starts to turn worse. I’m hoping that my husband doesn’t get any worse because I would rather not have to use those options if I can avoid it.
The one new thing I’ve learned from talking to these people is this mantra that originated with Al-Anon but has since spreaded to other groups dealing with other types of situations: You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. You can’t cure it.
Learning that mantra has made me feel better. Yes, I haven’t been perfect in this marriage and, thanks to therapy, I now know where I made mistakes in the marriage. But I never cheated on my husband or abused him nor did I throw him out of the house. I didn’t cause my husband to run away from home. I can’t force my husband to return home and I can’t cure his problems for him. I have to focus on myself for the time being and hope that someday my husband and I will talk to each other as spouses and not as boss/employee.
I basically spent today, Memorial Day, talking to my therapist for an hour (she understood my need to tell my husband not to contact me unless he stopped acting like my boss) in the afternoon, then going to see that Tim Burton-Johnny Depp big screen remake of the 1970’s gothic soap opera Dark Shadows. I found the movie to be initially promising (it was hilarious seeing Barnabas Collins trying to suddenly adjust to the year 1972 after being locked up in his coffin for nearly 200 years) but it got increasingly overblown and lame as it went on. What really sucked was that the movie didn’t even use the eerie theme song that was used in both the original 1970’s soap opera and the 1990’s prime time series revival. That theme song is among the more memorable theme songs ever written and Tim Burton totally jettisoned it. WTF?!?
The core of the movie dealt with Barnabas Collins who was turned into a vampire by the witch Angelique because he spurned her and Angelique continued to wreak havoc not only on Barnabas but on members of the extended Collins family. I’ll admit that there were times when I wished I had Angelique’s witch powers. The things I could do to my husband in revenge for the way he walked out on me back in December. (LOL!) I wonder what he would be like if I could have witch powers so I could turn him into an undead vampire who’s constantly thirsty for blood and he’ll feel such torment forever. (LOL!) The twisted mind wobbles. (LOL!)
I don’t mind having a relatively quiet Memorial Day because not only because it’s the five-month anniversary of that infamous walkout but it was incredibly hot today. The weather went as high as 93 degrees Farenheit, which is unusually hot for late May, and it had the humidity to match. (Normally late July-late August is the time when such high temperatures hit.) I am so glad I didn’t get invited to any outdoor events this year because it definitely would’ve been hell.
Sagittarius Dolly 
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