You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘drama’ tag.

There’s this story that’s currently trending on Buzzfeed that’s pretty bizarre. The gist is that Lisa Palmer was a student at Hunter College in New York City until two years ago when she said that the school forced her to drop out just a semester before she was scheduled to graduate because she couldn’t pay her student fees. She claimed that Hunter College said that she could remain in her dorm room as long as she paid off her course fees and re-enroll in classes. Since that time she has remained in her dorm room while not paying any room and board fees nor paying off her past debts to the college. She currently works two jobs but she has yet to re-enroll in any classes.

Hunter College has spent the past two years sending her notices of owed residency fees as well as repeated eviction notices only to have Palmer ignore them. Hunter College has sued Palmer asking her to not only leave the dormitory but to pay back a staggering $94,000 dollars that she has owed them for the two years she has lived in that dorm. Palmer has said that she hasn’t paid anything over the last two years because she can’t afford to pay so, therefore, she shouldn’t have to pay anything yet she should still be able to remain in her dorm room. She also said that she’s currently looking for legal representation but, according to her, “none have met my expectations in terms of their deduction ability.”

I stayed in a dormitory during my undergraduate years at the University of Maryland at College Park and this story has me shaking my head at both sides of this dispute.

Lisa Palmer is 32 years old and I don’t even know why she wants to continue her fight to remain in a dormitory, especially at her age. A typical college dorm tends to be cramped. I once lived in a dorm room with two beds, two bureaus, two desks, two chairs, and a large closet but I had to share it with a roommate. Based on a photo of one of Hunter College’s dorm rooms that I saw posted on the Buzzfeed site, it looks like Lisa Palmer had a room to herself but it still looks very cramped with a bed, a desk, a chair, a closet, and a small bureau. She can’t really own too many clothes or other things because her room is so small. Dorm life was barely tolerable for me when I was in my early 20’s and I’m not exactly pining for that experience again because living in one can be a total hassle—which only gets even more annoying the older you get.

If you need to use a toilet, brush your teeth, or take a shower, you have to frequently leave your dorm room to go to one of the communal bathrooms that are located on each floor. If you need to eat a meal, you have to leave the dorm and walk to the nearest dining hall. The dining hall was only opened during certain hours of the day so if you were hungry at—let’s say—2 a.m. you had to stay hungry (or come up with an alternate way to satisfy that hunger) because the dining hall was closed. Unless you’re lucky enough to own a tiny refrigerator that’s suitable for a dorm room (which I never had due to tight finances) you have to leave your room and go somewhere else if you’re in the mood for a soda or a glass of wine or even a drink of water.

I remember during my time living in a dorm I wasn’t allowed to have a hot plate or a portable stove in my dorm room due to fire regulations. This was also back in the day when microwave ovens were very big, bulky, and expensive so they weren’t practical for a dorm room at all. There were a couple of kitchen ovens that were located in the basement of my dorm near the laundry room. I only used one of the ovens once and that was to bake a birthday cake using one of those boxed cake mixes and pre-made frosting for my then-boyfriend’s 25th birthday. (He later became my ex-husband.) It was such a hassle having to leave my upper level dorm room, take an elevator to go to the basement, whip up the cake (which I recall had its own disposable pan that you can bake and serve in and it only required adding water then stirring the mix with a plastic spoon that I swiped from the dining hall), pop it in the oven, then wait around for the oven to finish baking because there was a rule where we had to stick around whenever we used one of the ovens because the dormitory wanted to avoid oven-related fires. It was easier to just go to a dining hall for meals than to try to cook your own meal using one of the dormitory ovens.

As for Hunter College, I don’t know why they didn’t move to evict her sooner instead of filing a lawsuit after two years. I know that during my undergraduate days the dormitories at the University of Maryland were only available to students who were 1) single, 2) childless, 3) pet-free, and 4) enrolled for a minimum of nine credit hours per semester, which generally equalled to three courses. If, for whatever reason, a student had to completely withdraw from all of his/her classes before the semester ended, he/she was expected to move out of the dorm soon afterwards. A dorm resident could also be kicked out before the semester ended if he/she engaged in acts of violence against another student or did something extremely destructive (such as setting a bed on fire). Each dorm resident had to sign a contract acknowledging that he/she would abide by all of the rules as long as he/she wanted to stay in a dorm.

I assume that Hunter College has those same standards. They could’ve evicted Lisa Palmer the moment they found out that she hadn’t enrolled in any classes in a semester. All they had to do was to send a notice saying that she would have to leave by a certain date or else she would be evicted then stick to that schedule if she ignored that notice. They could have gotten the campus police to remove her from the room while hiring some movers to place her belongings on a nearby street corner. For added measure, they could’ve hired a locksmith to change the lock to that room so she couldn’t sneak back in. That’s no different than what I occasionally see at a local apartment complex that’s located near my home where someone’s furniture, clothes, and other belongings suddenly appear in a giant pile near the curb because a tenant has just been evicted. I just don’t understand why Hunter College dragged its feet on this.

There is so much weirdness on both sides that it resulted in the escalation of something that should have been resolved with very little drama two years ago.


Here’s the story so far. A YouTube star named Logan Paul flew to Japan with a few of his buddies where he made a series of vlogs that basically dissed both the Japanese and their culture and they went to great effort to be the epitome of the Ugly American stereotype. If that weren’t enough, Logan Paul and his friends went to a park in Japan that’s known as the Suicide Forest because many people frequently travel there to commit suicide. Logan Paul and pals went off of the marked trails and went further into the woods where they found a guy who had recently hanged himself. Logan Paul then filmed the dead body in nauseating detail while he and his pals laugh and cracked tasteless jokes.

Logan Paul uploaded that video online where it experienced a nasty backlash. Many people flagged that Suicide Forest video yet YouTube kept it online and it even listed that video on its Trending list along with a thumbnail of Logan Paul wearing that goofy Toy Story hat and that hanged body. The video was taken offline by Logan Paul himself and not YouTube after it had received so many views and so much backlash.

In the wake of that debacle, YouTube decided to remove Logan Paul from its very lucrative YouTube Red and Preferred Partner programs while keeping him on the regular Partner program. At the same time YouTube decided to notify a bunch of smaller YouTube channels (including my own Sagittarius Dolly channel) that they will be removed from the Partner program on February 20 unless they get a huge amount of both subscribers and watch hours. YouTube said that it was being done in the wake of the Logan Paul Suicide Forest debacle even though thousands of innocent people are being unfairly penalized for what Logan Paul did. I did a video on the subject titled Dear YouTube, Why Should Small Content Creators Like Myself Pay the Price for Logan Paul?

A few weeks after that video, Logan Paul attempted to show remorse for his actions by putting out a video titled Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow, which is a very nicely done PSA that seeks to raise awareness of suicide. Many people on the Internet were crowing that it’s a new chapter in Logan Paul’s life as he has learned his lesson. I didn’t join the crowd initially because I wanted to see what he does next after releasing that video. Basically he did a few things that led me to conclude that Logan Paul’s suicide prevention video was little more than a PR stunt and he hasn’t really gained any new sense of empathy for suicide victims or anyone else. I did a second video where I recorded my reaction to seeing Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow while blasting Logan Paul for his post video antics titled Why Logan Paul can take his “Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow” Video and Shove It.

I thought I was done with making videos blasting Logan Paul. But then something else happened today. Logan Paul made yet another video that has gotten the Internet in a tizzy. As The Guardian puts it:

In a video uploaded on Monday, he tasered two dead rats and removed a live fish from water and “performed CPR” on it. YouTube responded by suspending all advertising on his channel.

Basically YouTube has removed Logan Paul from its regular Partner program so he can no longer collect any kind of ad revenue on any of his videos. But the BBC has a further detail about Logan Paul’s latest punishment:

This time it has decided to temporarily suspend all advertising on his channels.

That’s right, the suspension is just temporary and YouTube could easily reinstate Logan Paul to that program at a later date when this newest round of outrage dies down.

Personally I think it’s not enough. Logan Paul has been given so many chances and has screwed them all. I’ve seen other YouTubers get their videos yanked off-line and even thrown off the platform for lesser violations that what Logan Paul has done. I know that Logan Paul is YouTube’s cash cow but this is a time when that cash cow has too much of a dark side that will affect YouTube’s reputation.

Meanwhile thousands of other channels like myself will soon be demonetized due to Logan Paul and other YouTubers who’ve done wrong (such as DaddyOFive). I made a short video expressing my outrage that Logan Paul is getting as what amounts to a slap on the wrists. It’s the shortest of my Logan Paul rants because I’ve already gone over so much material in my previous two videos. Here is Another Open Letter to YouTube Regarding Logan Paul and Demonetizing Smaller Channels Like My Own.

I promise that this will be the last video I’ll make about Logan Paul and YouTube because I have too many other things to worry about at the moment.

Not too long ago I made a video that’s an open letter to YouTube where my channel (also called Sagittarius Dolly just like this blog) is in danger of being demonetized. YouTube decided to do this in the wake of Logan Paul’s Suicide Forest video except YouTube is penalizing the wrong people.

This past week Logan Paul uploaded the first new video he made since both the Suicide Forest video and his subsequent apology video. It’s a nicely done PSA called “Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow” and it included an interview with a man who attempted suicide by jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge and he miraculously survived. Here’s the video:

The video seemed promising even though there was one thing that had bothered me. Had Logan Paul simply made that Suicide Forest video then I would say that this new video is sufficient enough to prove that Logan Paul has learned a lesson from this incident. However, prior to the Suicide Forest video, Logan Paul made other videos where he and his pals essentially made fun of the Japanese and their culture while visiting their country. As of this writing he has yet to issue any kind of apology to Japan for his awful behavior. Here are the lowlights of those videos that were compiled by We The Unicorns.

I didn’t immediately jump on the “Logan Paul has learned his lesson” bandwagon because of that lack of apology to Japan. I’m glad I sat out that bandwagon because there were two recent incidents that had me question the sincerity of Logan Paul’s “Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow” video. One was an inappropriate comment he made on a picture that was posted on rapper Cardi B’s Instagram account. The other was this interview he made on ABC’s Good Morning America where he basically said that the guy committed suicide in the Suicide Forest as a way for him to make that Suicide Forest video and raise awareness of suicide prevention. You can watch this interview in its entirety—if you can stomach it.

In response I made this video titled “Why Logan Paul Can Take His ‘Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow’ Video and Shove It.” In that video I briefly mention the earliest suicide that affected me when my Great Uncle Jack killed himself when I was seven or eight years old. Feel free to share it with everyone you know.

Writing off Logan Paul is no big loss for me and I definitely won’t regret making my latest video. Here’s a video I found which goes over previous outrageous things Logan Paul has done in the U.S. prior to his fateful Japanese trip that will have your blood boiling.

Last week I received this email from YouTube announcing that my Sagittarius Dolly channel (which I named after this blog), which I registered in its regular Partner program, is in danger of being demonetized due to its recent new standards it has instituted. Under the new system I am now required to have a minimum of 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours (where I never used to have a quota before under the old system) or else I will lose all monetization.

Granted I never made much money. (YouTube required a $100 minimum before it would even cut a check or put money into my PayPal account. The most I ever made in any month was around three or four dollars so I never received any cash from YouTube.) But it really sucks that YouTube has instituted these new rules in an effort to avoid that Logan Paul Suicide Forest incident but these rules seemed to target less popular channels like myself instead. This article in USA Today says that YouTube’s stricter requirements would still not have prevented Logan Paul from uploading his Suicide Forest video because his channel had already exceeded YouTube’s quotas.

Basically those of us with less-popular channels are paying the price for Logan Paul’s Suicide Forest stunt and it’s not fair. I made this video that’s an open letter to YouTube. I included some background about the Logan Paul Suicide Forest incident (don’t worry, my video does not show any dead bodies because I feel that poor suicide victim’s friends and family have already suffered enough from what Logan Paul did) but it basically focuses on how I feel that it’s not fair that people like me have to pay the price for the antics of Logan Paul and other popular YouTubers (such as DaddyOFive and PewDiePie).

UPDATE (January 27, 2018): I came across this article on The Motley Fool that is totally critical of YouTube’s new standards and it makes the same point that I’ve been making that the wrong people are being penalized for Logan Paul flying to Japan and making that Suicide Forest video. As this article explains:

This still seems like a bad business decision. YouTube is a big business, and the number of creators generating six figures in revenue has soared 40% over the past year. The problem is that few of them became overnight success stories. You start small. You work your way up. Shutting off the partnership program until late in the popularity cycle is going to turn off a lot of potential contributors. This is going to open the door for other social media sites and video-sharing outlets to introduce monetization solutions for mainstream users, and it’s not going to stop the next YouTube celebrity from doing something ill advised to leave marketers revisiting brand safety issues again. Chaos among upstart hungry creators will be a dinner bell somewhere else.

YouTube is throwing out the babies, but it’s keeping the bathwater.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

UPDATE (February 3, 2018): I made another video in response to Logan Paul’s “Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow” and his latest antics that call into question the sincerity of that video.

This is yet more drama featuring a person whom I briefly worked with at a startup that ultimately went nowhere last year. I got the job because the entrepreneur/owner of that startup is housemates with a friend of mine. I basically did administrative work where I helped with designing promotional materials for this new startup as well as doing research on things like obtaining trademarks. I also spent a lot of time helping with creating prototypes for this startup’s product, which would be rolled out at the annual Loudon Lyme 10K/5K/1K Fun Run.

There were problems with this startup. I made the mistake of letting him talk me into writing a post in this blog about the startup instead of getting a separate blogging account that would be just for that startup. (The entrepreneur/owner couldn’t be bothered with getting such an account.) In addition he wanted to use my Square card reader with my linked PayPal account instead of getting a separate Square card reader/PayPal account just for that startup.

So we were preparing for the Loudon Lyme 10K/5K/1K event and I naturally assumed that we would have a vendor booth. It wasn’t until just two days before the event when he told me that he didn’t get a vendor booth. Basically I learned that his entire sales strategy consisted of this: Never register for a vendor booth at any event. Instead, just show up with backpacks full of wares, open the backpacks and sell your wares. I was appalled (especially since I had helped with creating brochures that I assumed would be displayed on a table) but, by that point, I had committed to this event.

To make a long story short, this sales strategy was a disaster and we didn’t sell anything. A few days later he sent a multi-part text message essentially blaming me because I was into “self-sabotage.” (Never mind the fact that not even registering for a vendor booth at an event is the ultimate in self-sabotage.) The following day he sent another text asking me to show up at some upcoming Lyme events where I would sell my wares from out of backpacks.

By that point I hadn’t been paid for most of the work I had done and he said that I would only get paid if I did those events. Of course he asked me after he accused me of self-sabotage. I decided to bail at this point. I even wrote a retraction post taking back everything I had ever written in that previous post the entrepreneur/owner wanted me to write while, at the same time, I announced a new policy where I would no longer write about any ongoing projects I do for other people in this blog until after they are completed. (I would be more than happy to help with setting up a separate blogging account for anyone who wants me to write work-in-progress posts.)

My former boss eventually paid me the rest of the money that he owed me six months later so I thought there were closure. But then this year began when he attempted to restart his business on Facebook using my selfie that I had taken without even asking me permission first.

But now he’s engaged in some family drama with his sister over their mother and I only know about it because he has taken it to Facebook. On Mother’s Day I saw that post in my own newsfeed where he not only has hurled accusations against his sister but he printed her name and telephone number and he encouraged anyone reading his message to start calling her.

Since that time he would occasionally write on Facebook about how horrible his sister is for somehow not letting him visit or even speak on the phone to their mother but at least he hadn’t named her or posted her phone number. I haven’t bothered with writing new posts about what he had written because I just don’t want this blog devolving into a glorified “Shit My Ex-Boss Says About His Sister on Facebook.”

But then Thanksgiving Day happened and here’s a heavily edited screenshot of what he posted about his sister.

He asked prayers for his sister while posting a horrible accusation against her plus posting her name and telephone number! If that’s not passive-aggressive behavior, I don’t know what is.

I’m not inclined to immediately side with him because I remember when he not only accused me of being into self-sabotage on the day of that Loudon Lyme 10K/5K/1K Fun Run but there was another incident that occurred while I worked for him. He wanted to use my Square Card reader with my associated PayPal account instead of getting his own Square Card/PayPal for his startup. I hadn’t used that reader in a while so I was trying to figure it out. There were some glitches and the boss started to get angry with me until we figured out what was going on. He accused me of being secretive because, while I was figuring out how that Square Card reader worked (which I was doing on HIS request), I was doing it without verbally announcing “I’m going to try Option A first. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll try Option B…” and so on.

On top of it, he then insulted me by saying that I’m naturally secretive because of my birth order. He was the first person I had ever worked for on a professional level who had made my birth order an issue.

So, yeah, I’m not going to immediately take his side, especially since I have never met either his sister or his mother so I don’t know the whole story. For all I know, his accusation against his sister could be as outrageously untrue as when he accused me of being secretive and engaging in self-sabotage.

All I know is that what he’s doing to his sister is called doxing. The minute he started posting her name and personal phone number on Facebook is the minute that he has lost whatever moral high ground he had stood on this issue. Doxing his sister on Mother’s Day didn’t help with solving the dispute he has with her so I don’t know why he thinks that doxing his sister again on Thanksgiving Day would result in anything different.

In fact, what he has done has only exposed him to a potential lawsuit because if his sister ever finds those posts, all she has to do is take screenshots, print them out, then show them to a lawyer. What’s more, it’s possible that there is a Facebook friend who is still friendly with both siblings and that person could easily send a message along with a screenshot of that post to the sister saying “Hey, check out what your brother has been posting about you on Thanksgiving Day!”

I sent the link to my ex-boss’ Facebook post in an email to my friend on Thanksgiving Day because I felt he needed to know what his housemate did. Since they share the same roof, there’s a very small chance he could be affected by whatever legal outcome could arise from that post.

I’m not totally unsympathetic to my ex-boss’ plight. If it is true that his sister is indeed trying to prevent anyone from seeing their mother, then he seriously needs to see a family lawyer who is well-versed in eldercare issues instead of posting his sister’s name and telephone number on Facebook. Doxing his sister on various holidays is not only an ineffective strategy but it’s also a lawsuit waiting to happen.

I’m just glad I walked away from his startup when I did. If he would engage in doxing against his own sister, I would hate to find out what he would’ve done to me if we had engaged in a really nasty dispute. What’s more, I now have an unedited version of that Thanksgiving Day screenshot along with the Mother’s Day screenshot that I can use on future job interviews in case anyone asks about why I left that startup because I now have evidence showing the type of person I was working for in his own words.

These days I can’t go on a news site or social media without hearing about the latest crazy drama that’s coming from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. in Washington, DC. Since last week the following has happened:

President Trump hires New York financier Anthony Scaramucci as the new White House Communications director, which results in the resignation of Sean Spicer from his White House press secretary job.

White House press aide Michael Short resigned after Scaramucci threatened to fire him over alleged leaks.

Anthony Scaramucci deletes his old Twitter tweets while saying that he did this in order to be “fully transparent.” Other sites have managed to archive his deleted tweets (which proves the adage that once you post something online, it never completely goes away).

Not long afterwards Anthony Scaramucci contacts The New Yorker magazine where he accused White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus of plotting against him and said that Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, sucks his own cock.

Meanwhile Scaramucci’s wife files for divorce because she became fed up with his attempts to suck up to President Trump. (He even blew off the birth of his own son in favor of attending President Trump’s infamous speech at the Boy Scouts Jamboree.)

President Trump fires White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.

Today President Trump fires Anthony Scaramucci after spending just 10 days at his new job.

Man, you really can’t make this shit up if you’ve tried!

It looks like Donald Trump is running his administration the way that he used to run his reality show The Apprentice. Granted firing people right and left made for great reality TV, such as this compilation of Trump frequently saying “You’re fired!” on his old reality show.

Hell, I used to watch The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice as my guilty pleasure until 2011 (when I became totally turned off of Trump’s show after Trump talked about running for president while questioning President Obama’s birth certificate and blatantly catering to the racist birthers who couldn’t stand the fact that an African-American man was actually elected to the White House). I’m willing to admit that frequently firing people makes very compelling TV but, to be blunt, that is no way to run to run a White House administration or even an entire country.

Trying to keep abreast on what’s going on at the White House is a really major challenge for journalists. Here’s a video of a presenter on BBC News trying to explain to the viewers of what’s going on while seeming confused himself at the same time.


Over the past week my post from 2013 has become among the 10 most read posts in this blog. The main reason is because former congressman and New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has jumped back in the news.

Longtime readers of this blog may remember the occasional references I’ve made about Anthony Weiner, starting with the first time he got caught posting pictures of his, uh, wiener on Twitter way back in 2011. He lost his career as a congressman as a result and things quieted down for a bit.

Two years after I wrote my first post on Anthony Weiner, he decided to make a political comeback by running for mayor of New York City. All was fine until he got caught texting pictures of his wiener to a woman named Sydney Leathers using the alias Carlos Danger (in this case the jokes really write themselves). Instead of just writing another rant about his public wiener display, I did this mixed-media piece for an upcoming show. (And, yes, this piece is definitely NSFW.)

Amazing Fantasy Featuring Carlos Danger

You can read more about how I created this piece in this 2013 post.

That second wiener-exposing incident cost Anthony Weiner the election. He eventually decided to step away from the spotlight and focusing on taking care of his son while his wife, Huma Abedin, worked on Hillary Clinton’s ill-fated campaign last year. But then he got caught once again sending unsolicited dick pictures to a Donald Trump supporter. My original 2013 post about my mixed-media piece was back among the 10 most-read posts in this blog. So I did a Throwback Thursday piece devoted to the latest Anthony Weiner scandal while posting my mixed-media piece in this blog again.

The reason why my mixed-media piece has gotten notice again is because it turned out that Weiner wasn’t just sending pictures of his wiener to a Donald Trump supporter, he was sending them to a 15-year-old girl in North Carolina. Then there was that photo of Weiner’s crotch while his young son was sleeping nearby, which prompted Huma Abedin to leave her husband. Recently Anthony Weiner has pleaded guilty to the federal obscenity charge stemming from what he sent to that teen. He not only faces prison time but he will also have to register as a sex offender.

Anthony Weiner’s unconventional hobby is literally a visual example of this definition of the word “insanity”: Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. All Weiner’s showing off of his wiener has done for him is to lose his once-successful political career while facing jail time and even experiencing his wife separating from him.

Yet there’s a possibility that his marriage may not be totally on the verge of being kaput. While it was said that Huma Abedin was going to file for divorce when Anthony Weiner pleaded guilty, apparently Huma Abedin has reportedly invited her husband to move back into their home. That reunion won’t last too long since Weiner is expected to be sentenced to anywhere between 21-27 months in jail. (He hasn’t been sentenced yet as of this writing.)

If I was giving advice to Huma Abedin’s situation, I would just tell her to focus on taking care of herself and her son and don’t even bother with reconciling with her husband. Not only is he on the verge of being sentenced to jail but it’s clear that he has a problem with keeping his wiener in his pants. He hasn’t done anything to stop his tendency towards sending unwanted dick pics to any female online. What’s worse is that he had even involved their son in one of his escapades. (Remember that photo of the close-up crotch shot while that child was sleeping nearby.)

I can understand that she loves him and all that but there are times when you have to accept that the person you fell in love with have some demons that he refuses to overcome and there is no option other than to just walk away. She can’t rescue him or save him—he has to save himself because he’s the only one who can do it. It’s no different from when I had to accept the sad reality that my ex-husband prefers the company of a severely mentally ill woman (he even married her two months after our divorce was finally) and all of the begging, pleading, and cajoling only further hardened his resolve to be with her. Last year I gained insight from this old audio recording of Howard Stern and Donald Trump on why my ex would prefer to be with a troubled person like her and I realized that I never could get him to stay with me because I’m not as troubled as her and he seems attracted to trouble. It’s just like Anthony Weiner being attracted to sending out dick pics to strangers even though his previous escapades have ruined his political career.

If anyone wants to purchase my mixed-media piece or even look into licensing it for use in a publication or something similar, please send an email at kimstark61 at gmail dot com.

Last May I was briefly involved with a startup that was test-marketing disposable jumpsuits that were pre-treated with Sawyer Permethrin spray at the annual Loudon Lyme 10K/5K/1K Fun Run. I basically did administrative work (including helping with designing flyers, doing online research into filing for trademarks, and manually spraying each disposable jumpsuit with Sawyer Permethrin). During the course of my two weeks with that startup, I was convinced to write a blog post in this very blog about that startup instead of getting a separate blogging account just for that startup. (I was unable to get the owner/founder to devote any time to setting up that blog. In addition, he insisted on using my Square card reader that’s connected to my PayPal account because he couldn’t be bothered with getting a separate Square card reader/PayPal account for that startup.)

At one point he accused me of being secretive and he said that I couldn’t help it because of my birth order. The reason for that accusation: I hadn’t used my Square card reader in a while (due to the fact that I had to cut back on selling my handcrafted goodies at various shows because of declining sales after the 2008 economic crash) so, ON HIS REQUEST, I was silently trying to figure out how it worked. According to him, I was “secretive” because I didn’t orally announce within his earshot “I’m going to do Option A. If that doesn’t work I’m going to try Option B” and so on.

There were more incidents like that but I’m not going to get into any of them since I wrote all about it last year.

Ironically today is the one-year anniversary of the 2016 Loudon Lyme event. (This year’s event was just held on May 7. No, I didn’t attend this year.) A day or two after that event, the startup’s founder sent me a text message asking me what should have been done differently. I replied that maybe we should’ve started with a smaller run of 10-20 jumpsuits to test market instead of 60 jumpsuits we attempted to sell. That was when he sent me a multi-part text message accusing me of being into self-sabotage. (Never mind the fact that he was the one who didn’t register for a vendor booth and had this unrealistic expectation of selling stuff from backpacks.) This was on top of the fact that I was paid for the first couple of days I worked for him but the payments stopped because the founder had plowed the bulk of the startup money into getting 60 jumpsuits and Sawyer Permethrin.

I finally walked away from that startup a day or two after he accused me of being into self-sabotage when he sent another text asking me to show up at a few upcoming Lyme disease related events selling those jumpsuits from out of backpacks. (He didn’t register for vendor booths at those events either.) Between the self-sabotage insult and the fact that I wasn’t paid the rest of the money I was owed for the work I had done, I realized that I had no future with this startup. I wrote a retraction post where I announced that I would no longer write about work that I’m doing for other people in this blog until after the work was finished or there was some kind of a closure.

The startup founder eventually paid me the rest of the money he owed me last November. Granted six months is a long time to wait for a paycheck but at least he paid so I thought I had some closure on this startup.

But then there was new drama earlier this year when the founder had decided to try reviving the Sawyer Permethrin-sprayed jumpsuit idea on a Facebook page using a selfie I took of myself wearing one of the jumpsuits without asking permission first or even trying to get me to sign a release. I didn’t hear any further from my ex-boss for a while after that incident.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I spent the entire day basking in the sunshine while attending the annual Greenbelt Green Man Festival (which I’ll write about in a future post). I had brought my laptop with me so, from time to time, I posted some of my pictures from the previous day’s Gateway Arts Open Studio Tour (which I’ll also write about in a future post) on to various social media sites like Facebook. I saw a lot of people writing online Mother’s Day greetings and posting pictures of mothers with their children. Imagine my surprise when my ex-boss posted something outrageous on Facebook where he not only accused his sister of doing something horrible to their mother but he even posted personal information about her that should never have been posted online. I took a screenshot of that post, which you can see below. I edited out the personal information but you can still get an idea of what he wrote.

He not only named his sister but he posted her personal phone number and encouraged anyone who read that post on Facebook to call that number. In a nutshell, this post says a lot more about him than his sister. That post reminded me of last year’s Square card reader incident when he accused me of being secretive (and my birth order only confirmed his suspicion) because I didn’t verbally announce “I’m going to do Option A…”

What’s more, he immediately made this one comment where he only linked to the notorious documentary Grey Gardens. (For the record, I have never seen that documentary. I did see the made for HBO movie that featured Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore as the dysfunctional mother-daughter pair back when I was still happily married and we still had cable TV.) It’s like he’s cryptically implying that his mother is trapped into a similar dysfunctional relationship with his sister (I think but I don’t know what is going on inside that man’s head). That is so reminiscent of when he cryptically sent me that text asking for feedback on what we could’ve done differently at the Loudon Lyme event, I provided a straightforward opinion, and he responded with that multipart text saying that it was really a trick question because he expected me to write about my own mistakes and he accused me of being into self-sabotage.

Because of my past dealings with him, I’m not inclined to immediately side with him or even accept his version of events—especially since I have never met his sister or his mother. It’s possible that his sister is a total elder-abusing bitch but it’s also possible that she’s not doing anything wrong and it’s her brother who has issues with her for some reason that is none of my business.

If he has concerns about how his sister is taking care of their mother, he should seek legal advice from a lawyer instead of making that nasty post on Facebook urging anyone who sees that post to call his sister (regardless of whether that person even knows the sister or not).

If his sister ever finds that post, all she has to do is take a screenshot of that post, print it out, show it to a lawyer, and he could end up getting sued for things like libel, slander, and invasion of privacy.

Last night I sent an email about that post to a friend of mine, who was the one who recommended me for that job in the first place, because he is still housemates with my ex-boss and he rarely goes on Facebook these days. (Twitter is his preferred social media platform.) I wanted to warn him because there’s the chance that he may end up being indirectly involved with this drama, especially if his housemate’s sister decides to go by their house to confront her brother in person. He basically thanked me for alerting him to this.

I’m still looking for a new day job to replace that startup. (I’ve been applying to various temp agencies and employment agencies to no avail.) At least I have an unedited version of that screenshot that I could show to any hiring manager or recruiter who wanted to know more about that startup and why I had quit it after only two weeks because it basically proves what kind of person I was dealing with as my boss when I worked there. What’s more I can prove it using his own words that he wrote himself on Facebook.


A week ago or so a friend of mine who knew me when I was still married mentioned that he saw my ex-husband and found something disturbing about him. Yesterday I ran into another friend on Easter Sunday who also expressed similar concerns about my ex-husband after seeing him and his second wife at a local cafe.

I’m not going to elaborate on what their concerns are other than to say that I’m not surprised that they are shocked at what has happened to my ex-husband. Since he left me he has gone through a complete personality change that I can’t explain. (I’ve read plenty about personality disorder, psychopathy, narcissism, and sociopathy but I lack the credentials to diagnose my ex-husband or anyone else.) After all, my husband never told me he was unhappy in our marriage until he abruptly left me just three days after Christmas in 2011. (He left me three months after I underwent hip surgery.) He abruptly went from being a loving, caring husband to someone who became cold and distant. He refused to talk to me or to meet with me in person other than to bark out orders over email and text demanding that I adhere to a schedule where we would separate our finances and if I raised any kind of resistance, he would threaten to sue me. I found out from friends that he had left me for a woman whom I thought was a friend of mine but I now know better. She had been open about her mental health issues that became so severe that she had an experimental pacemaker implanted in her brain. She qualified for SSI disability just weeks before my husband left me for her.

If all that weren’t enough, my husband sent divorce papers in a .pdf format that was attached to an email message that was dated December 24, 2012. (Yes, he did this on Christmas Eve.) I later found out that he and the other woman got engaged just eight months after he left me. He married her two months after our divorce was final.

Sure I’m sad over what my friends have told me about him but here’s one thing I learned through both attending meetings of a divorce recovery group and seeing a therapist—the only person I can control is myself. I can’t control anyone else. Sure, I can give advice to someone but it’s up to the person to decide whether he or she will follow my advice or not.

I made the decision to have no contact with my ex-husband because of his cyberbullying threats of taking me to court if I didn’t do what he told me to do. My ex has never said that he was sorry for the pain he had put me through or even acknowledge his role in what happened between us. He once told me that it was my fault that he had to leave me so he could date that mentally ill friend of ours. (For the record, I never once told him that he should hook up with that woman. I would never recommend dating a seriously mentally ill person to anyone.) And the reason why he felt he had to leave: The day before my hip surgery I had gone to the American Girl Place in Tysons Corner, Virginia and I purchased this doll named Julie, who is part of the American Girl dolls’ historical line and she’s supposed to represent the 1970’s, mainly because her default outfit is similar to an outfit I once wore when I was growing up in the 1970’s. My ex wrote in a letter that he left behind that my purchase of this doll added to the clutter of our home and he had to leave because of it.


That’s right, my purchase of this doll is the main reason my husband cited for leaving home, hooking up with a woman whom he knew has serious mental health issues, getting engaged to her while still being legally married to me, divorcing me, and marrying her just two months after the divorce was final.

Unless my ex makes a sincere effort to make amends to me for the hurt he has caused me, there is no way I’m going to contact him to see if he’s okay or if there is anything I can do to help him.

I’ll admit that I haven’t forgiven him at all. I learned through my divorce recovery group that forgiveness is a process that can’t be rushed and that there are some situations where it’s impossible to forgive a person. I can’t say I’ll never forgive him but I am just honestly not emotionally ready to do that right now.

Even if I was still in contact with him as a friend, there are limits as to what I can do. Any advice I give would work only if he wants to take it. If he decides against taking my advice, there’s nothing I can do about it because it’s his life and he’s the only one who has a direct say in over how he’ll live it.

If my friends raise their concerns about my ex with me again, I’m going to have to tell them “Sorry but I can’t do anything about it.” Because it is the truth.

I’m only writing a post about this because I know that there are people dealing with loved ones who have their own level of dysfunction—whether it’s due to drugs or alcohol or they are in a dysfunctional romantic relationship or they have mental health problems that they refuse to do anything about or they tend to gamble excessively or they have some other problem that have seriously impacted their lives. Many of us were raised in religious traditions where you’re taught that you’re supposed to be your brother’s (or sister’s) keeper and you have to be the hero to save that person from self-destruction. What I’m telling you—which flies in the face of most religious traditions—is this: you have no control over that person or anyone else other than yourself. If that person wants your help, then fine. You should help that person. But if that person refuses your offer of help, you have no other choice but to just let that person continue on his/her self-destructive path.

This was a lesson I learned through my divorce recovery group and it’s a similar message that other self-help groups, such as Al-Anon, also convey. The bottom line is that you can’t help anyone else unless that person wants your help.

However you can educate yourself so you can learn how to respond to someone else’s drama without getting consumed by it. I’m going to end this post with a short list of books I read that helped me learn how to deal with and respond to my ex-husband’s actions without losing my own mind.

Runaway Husbands by Vikki Stark. This was the first book I ordered from in the days after my husband left and I did a Google search on “my husband ran away from home.” That book helped me prepare for what would happen next since my husband had followed the same path to our divorce that the other husbands Stark profiled in her book went.

Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie. This is a book that was invaluable in helping me to decide not to have any further contact with my ex-husband until he makes a sincere effort to make amends with me for what he has done to me.

The Language of Letting Go and More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. Both books are daily meditations that are designed to help the person with breaking away from a codependent relationship into living a well-integrated and independent life that’s free from codependency.

Last year I briefly worked for a start-up that was founded by a housemate of a friend of mine. (At the time I wrote in this blog that he was a friend of a friend. In reality the two of them share the same house. I didn’t want to go into too many details about my friend because I didn’t want his home life to be adversely affected by whatever I write in this blog.) Basically the start-up would sell disposable jumpsuits that were pre-sprayed with Sawyer Permethrin spray. I did the administrative tasks, including manually spraying these jumpsuits with the permethrin spray and packing them into plastic bags.

There were weird things about the start-up from the beginning, such as the owner’s insistence on using my Square reader card for all credit card transactions (even though it was connected to my PayPal account and not the start-up’s) instead of getting one for the start-up. But I had let my bullshit guard down mainly because he was my friend’s housemate. On top of it this person was dealing with his own struggles with Lyme disease while also simultaneously dealing with a partner with dementia. If it weren’t for my compassion and softheartedness, I probably would’ve walked out the door way sooner because I grew weary of dealing with the frequent reprimands for any slight mistakes while being discouraged from taking any notes on procedures so I can do my job better. (He expected me to just retain his instructions in my head instead of taking notes.)

Even though I tried to encourage the founder to get a free blogging account, he talked me into writing a post in this very blog instead and I foolishly went along with it. I wrote this post about what I was doing and I included a selfie of me wearing one of the jumpsuits.


We were preparing for formally rolling out the jumpsuits at the Loudon Lyme 10K/5K/1K Fun Run. When the founder asked me about other events, I mentioned the Greenbelt Green Man Festival that took place the weekend before the Loudon event. By that point it was too late to get a vendor booth but he talked me into wearing one of the jumpsuits to that event and sell them from a large Aldi recyclable shopping bag. Even though I got plenty of attention, I failed to sell a single jumpsuit. The start-up owner wasn’t too concerned about the lack of sales and he assured me that we would sell more at the next event.

I naturally assumed that we would have a vendor booth for the Loudon Lyme event where we would sell the jumpsuits. In fact I even helped out with designing promotional materials that I assumed would be displayed at the booth along with the jumpsuits. It wasn’t until two days before this event I was told that there wouldn’t be a vendor booth. That was how I found out that the founder had this sales plan where you never register for vendor booths at events. Instead you would just show up to these events wearing one of the jumpsuits while selling the others from backpacks—just like I did at the Greenbelt Green Man Festival.

Anyway we failed to sell a single jumpsuit and the person sent me a text message a few days later accusing me of self-sabotage. I was pissed at that point because I had written that blog post promoting the start-up and it was basically too late for me to delete it since it’s common knowledge that what you put online lasts forever. So I wrote a retraction post where I announced a new policy where I would no longer write about work I do for other people until after a project is finished and I provided details as to why I’m no longer with the start-up that I previously wrote about. I basically put that start-up behind me after I wrote that post.

I would occasionally hear from my former boss on Facebook but we didn’t interact very much. A few days ago he tagged my name to a Facebook page that was a sales page selling permethrin-treated jumpsuits. I took a look at that page. It looked like it wasn’t even completed and it didn’t look like it was a real business page. There was no email address, phone number, nor any other information about that business other than the name. There was one post on that page that said “Don’t tick me off” but that was it. Here’s is why this page raised my ire: This page was using my selfie as an avatar, implying that I was the owner of that company. Which meant that the one post on that page had my selfie next to it, implying that I was the one who wrote that.

I sent a message to my former boss asking him if that was his page but he didn’t respond. The next day I decided to send an email my friend asking him if he knew anything about this since they are still housemates. My friend promptly responded with an email where he said that his housemate had not mentioned reviving his jumpsuit business at all nor had he seen any evidence that he had done so (such as seeing an excess amount of jumpsuits lying around the house). I began to think that some unknown sleazy asshole was trying to start some bogus business on Facebook while using my selfie as the face of that fake business and that was why my former boss tagged my name.

So I reported that page to Facebook. After I did that, I sent a message to my former boss thanking him for letting me know about this page and I had reported it to Facebook for using my photo without even telling me. At that point he finally responded saying that, yes, it’s his page and he doesn’t know how to remove my photo that he uploaded on that page without even telling me. He offered to pay me for the use of my image.

Six months after I wrote my original retraction post, I made an update at the end of that post because the founder finally paid me the rest of the money he owed me and I wrote that update to reflect that fact. At the time I wrote:

Would I work for him again? I don’t know. It really depends on a lot of things (such as whether he would do things differently now or not).

After his latest shenanigans with using my selfie as the face of that Facebook page without even telling me fist, I have decided that there’s no way in hell I would work for him again. It was bad enough how he ran that start-up last year. What he recently did is totally sleazy and unethical and I want no part of that.

Previous Entries